Finding a new therapist doesn’t have to suck.
TLDR: Organize yourself ahead of the consult to make the most of that time. Be ready to ask for what you need help with, ask for any information you need to make a decision, and know that you don’t have to hurry to decide.
Almost all therapists offer a free 15-ish minute consult to get a vibe and learn more about whether they’re a good fit. But even getting to that point is an endeavor — you’ve got to scroll through google, or a directory, and filter and search. Once you get to the point where you’re doing consults, you’re hoping it won’t be too painful. Below are some tips for how to make the most of that consult time, and how to get a vibe about whether a therapist is a good fit.
Let consults work for you - ask the questions you need to feel confident in your choice!
Get clear about why you’re looking for therapy - just a little bit of info is helpful for the therapist. Don’t feel like you need to tell the whole story - that can be so stressful for you to do over and over again.
“I need to figure out how to communicate better with my spouse.”
“I am burnt out at work and need some help coping.”
“I have stress about my gender identity and need to sort that out.
If you have a sense, get clear about what you’re looking for in a therapist - either their style, their values, or the way they work. If you’re not sure, don’t sweat it, but if there are some deal breakers for you, it’s good to find out!
“I need someone who can be really direct with me.”
“I’ve been in therapy a lot and it hasn’t always felt like the work has connected or translated to real life.”
“I really like someone I can be real with.”
“I really want to try somatic work - is that a good fit?”
“What is your political affiliation / stance on LGBTQ issues / religious affiliation?”
“Can I swear in sessions or bring a snack?”
Have your questions ready - here are some common things you probably want to know:
How often will we meet to start?
Do you have evening/morning availability?
What’s your training or experience with xyz?
What’s your rate, and how will I pay for your services (card on file, HSA/FSA, cash)?
Where is your office located, or can we meet virtually?
How would you work with the issue I am presenting with?
4. Be prepared to let the therapist know if you need more time to decide before you’re ready to schedule. A good therapist should not pressure you to make a decision right away.
They should also let you know if the support you need isn’t in their scope of practice. They may be able to help refer you elsewhere if they determine they’re not a good fit for the issue you’re bringing.
5. Take some time to reflect about the interaction.
Did the therapist create a feeling of safety or consent? Was it comfortable talking to them?
Was their communication clear and understandable, or were you left wondering what they meant?
Do they feel approachable, like you can ask your questions? Therapy is an investment - it’s important to feel like you can make it your own.
Were they professional? What did you notice about how they helped you make the most of the consult time? Did they feel organized, calm, and present?
You may feel a positive vibe right away, or you may have more questions - ask how you can reach back out with questions as you’re deciding.
Any red flags? For example - your therapist shouldn’t add you on personal social media, be your friend or relative, reveal personal information about other clients, pressure you to decide or sign up for services, or make quick-fix promises.